Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Surviving a Miscarriage
No one really wants to talk about it. More times than not people just brush it under the carpet. But miscarriage is real and carries very emotional and physical pain. My husband and I lost our first two babies due to miscarriages. Our losses were only 5 months apart from each other. The first one (who we nick named Lima Bean) left us at 9 weeks gestation. That miscarriage was called a missed miscarriage. My body was 9 weeks pregnant but Lima Bean stopped growing at 7 weeks. A missed miscarriage is when the baby dies but the body keeps on going as if the baby is fine. Sadly, there is no known reason why this happens. Our second loss (who we nick named Baby Heart) left us at 6.5 weeks gestation. At 5 weeks we went in for a sonogram to check development and heard the heart beat. But one week later I began bleeding and was diagnosed again as suffering a miscarriage. This time, my body let go without medical intervention. The pain that comes along with a miscarriage is very real. It is not only physically painful but also emotionally. With our first loss I was having contractions two days after we found out our baby was gone. I was told that when your uterus is not yet expanded to full size, contractions can be worse than with a full term labor. That comment held true with us. Ways to help heal? Talk about your feelings. Do not keep them inside. Find a support group, even ones online, and speak with women and couples who have gone through it. Do not let anyone tell you to move on. It is not that easy, and no one should tell you that. It was your baby...... not theirs. Keep hope alive. Many women miscarry and there is no medical reason behind it. Although you would not know this as it is such a taboo topic. Pooker, my oldest daughter, was our third pregnancy in 11 months. Her sister, Kit Kat, was conceived when Pooker was 10 months old. It can happen to you. Find a doctor who you trust. A doctor who listens to your concerns, fears, ideas, and what ever else is so important. We were lucky enough to have one such doctor. (Two actually......) A doctor who understands you, takes your history seriously, and is proactive is very important. If you can not find someone to talk to...... please feel free to contact me. I had a special friend listen to me and it helped that she suffered like we had.